Dog Haiku

Love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten mouse.

I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be

Today I sniffed Many dog behinds—I celebrate By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm! Paper boy—come to kill us all— Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot—Sniff this and weep

I sound the alarm! Garbage man—come to kill us all— Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug.

I sound the alarm! Mail carrier—come to kill us all— Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle

I sound the alarm! Gardener—come to kill us all— Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I Hate my choke chain— Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much I do

The cat is not all Bad—she dots the neighborhood With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence—why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating.

My owners' mood is Romantic—I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one.